2 months minus 1 day

Micah turns two months old tomorrow. We'll probably take, and post, a picture to mark the occasion. This post, however, is about tonight.

We played video games!

In an unbelievable, yet measurable, indication of a return to normalcy (which is being continually redefined, mind you), Sarina and I played Mario Kart Double Dash for probably 45 minutes tonight. Neither of us have played video games at all since Sarina went into labor early on July 17th.

Maybe video games aren't your thing. In this case, fill in the following blanks with something that you typically do, perhaps even depend upon, to unwind, to disappear from the rigors of everyday life.

"I haven't _____ in 2 months, but I finally _____ tonight! An aspect of my life that seemed to have disappeared forever has finally returned!"

No baby yet

The question I get asked most frequently these days is some variation on, "No baby yet?" Frankly, I like the attention. Sarina, as obviously pregnant as she is, now gets comments from complete strangers. I'm glad that those who know we are expecting in the immediate future ask me for updates, even if it means saying "No, no baby yet" and "Sarina is doing fine but is uncomfortable" what sometimes seems like a dozen times a day.

So July 11th has come and gone, and no, no baby yet. One of our doctors told us at some point that 7 of 10 babies are born after their due date. The engineer in me chafes at this. If 7 of 10 are born after their due date, doesn't that mean that the prediction could be improved? I digress.

Sarina is doing fine, but is uncomfortable. We both want this baby to come. There's every indication that he is closer to coming than he was before (beyond the obvious passing of time which inevitably makes his arrival closer). Sarina is having more regular, and more intense contractions. She is also swelling more, and experiencing a variety of other minor symptoms that can be indicators that labor is looming in the near future.

But honestly, who knows?

On my way home yesterday, I ran into Jen Baily, another pregnant mother (with twins, due in a month or so) as she and her family were on the way to our church for Family Night Celebration. She asked if Sarina was tired of being pregnant. Yes, she is, I said. Jen then commented on how mentally difficult it is to wait. You don't know when the baby is coming, only that the baby is coming, and that you have no control over it whatsoever. For first-time parents, you also know that your life is going to be changed forever, but you have no idea how much. It is all a bit unnerving. And very trying, especially when no one bothers to explain all the different things that might happen to your mind and body along the way. The last weeks, in particular, seem to be weeks of intense change.

I don't want to make it seem like pregnancy is only hard. Pregnancy has been a blessing for us. It might be easier for me to say that because I'm not the one forced to continually carry our child without rest, but I can say that from a place of having sacrificed for the pregnancy. For me, this last trimester has been the most difficult, the most tiring. Sarina maintains that the first was the worst, because of the constant nausea, not to say that the third has been easy. We are both (all three of us?) ready to move on from our current, tired state, to a new, tired state. Bring on the baby!

In other news

I'm flying back to Pittsburgh from San Diego today. I've been in San Diego since Monday night, for Design Automation Conference (http://www.dac.com/), the most important conference in my research area.

I didn't have a presentation in the conference per se, but my advisor set up a number of meetings with people in industry that he knows so I could pitch my research to them. The idea was to try to get feedback, and possibly resources (data, money, etc.). Despite many of the conference sessions not being very interesting, it was a pretty productive week.

Each day for lunch a grad student colleague of mine, Alex, and our advisor Professor Thomas, went out for lunch in the Gaslamp Quarter in downtown San Diego. The mexican food was great, and I ate as much fish as I could. Hopefully I won't return with mercury poisoning.

While there I had a chance to go out with Sarina's good friend from UCSD, Karina. We had sushi in Mission Beach and walked on the beach for a while.

It was a lovely evening, and we stayed on the beach until sunset. I've never lived near the ocean. There have always been rivers or lakes nearby, but they don't hold the attraction for me that the ocean does. The draw was particular last night.

I also heard this week that I'll be presenting my work at a conference in Austria this October (http://www.codes-isss.com). I'm very excited about that, since it'll be my first conference presentation and is also a significant milestone on my path to preparing my dissertation proposal. We're also hoping that Sarina and Micah will be able to come along. It's hard to pass up an opportunity to go to Austria.

Blue Hat, Green Hat

Our favorite activity right now is to go to Borders and look at baby books. Fortunately, we don't do it very often or we would buy ourselves broke. Even so, Micah is going to have an enormous library...very fitting for the baby of two scholars. Hehe! Brett is reading our newest addition to Micah's library in this picture. As you can see, the book is hilarious. We hope Micah thinks it's funny, too!

The Belly, IV; Sleepy Mommy

You want pictures?! I've got pictures! Here's Sarina, 28.5 weeks pregnant.

Something happened a couple of weeks ago. We think that maybe Micah is too big to fit back over Sarina's pelvis anymore ... and he sort of just "popped" out. And out popped Sarina's belly too! It really was an amazing change and seemed very sudden (though perhaps it was happening gradually and we just didn't notice).

Micah being bigger, Sarina notices him moving a whole lot more often, and I've had the opportunity to feel him more too. Yesterday, Sarina was sitting on the porch and called me out to feel Micah moving around. He was pushing hard enough to make my hand move! Fortunately, this doesn't actually hurt Sarina.

With all his movement, I decided to say hello, with very interesting results. Immediately after my "Hello, Micah!" all motion stopped. I think that he might find my voice a little startling, as this wasn't the first time that this happened. Who knows what is going on in that little baby mind, but it does seem that he doesn't know what to think when I talk to him. Very amusing.

Sarina has just three more weeks before her papers are all due. Being a mom and a student looks tiring, doesn't it?

The Belly, III

It's been a couple of weeks since our last post, and the belly has grown significantly in the intervening time. As you can see from the sign Sarina is holding, she is now nearly 23 weeks along. Very exciting!

Both mother and baby remain healthy. Sarina is still experiencing pretty significant ligament pain, but is doing fine otherwise. The ligament pain makes sleeping a treat (if you enjoy discomfort). To compensate, Sarina sleeps with an armada of pillows to support her belly and legs and prop up her back. Any more pillows and I'll probably be sleeping on the floor.

Micah now constantly reminds Sarina he is alive and well by pummeling her bladder and other internal organs. I haven't been able to feel him myself yet; hopefully I'll have that chance in the next couple of weeks. By all accounts it's a remarkable experience, and I can't wait.

In other news, Sarina started her final term at Seminary this week! We can't believe that she's almost done. By contrast, I can't believe I'm still in school ... I'm finishing up my 9th year of college this year, my 22nd year of education (including kindergarten). If anyone asks, just tell them I'm going into the 22nd grade next year, and won't graduate until I complete at least the 23rd grade. And that's only if I'm not held back! (haha)

Pressure

Now that we have a child on the way, the pressure is on for me to finish school. To me, this is an obvious (and a little unnerving) thing, but the reminders seem to arrive in a continuous fashion. Seminary professors that we attend church with chide "well, you really have to finish now!" Friends ask me how things are going, how much longer I have, and so on. Colleagues ask about the progress of my research. The answers to such suggestions and inquiries are, respectively, "yes, I know!", "two years" (the answer is always two years), and "it's going, how about yours?" Trust me, there's no shortage of reasons to be motivated to finish ... turning said reasons into real motivation, however, is one of the struggles in graduate school. Having a child on the way, however, is probably among the best (i.e., most persuasive) reasons.

Piled Higher and Deeper is a great web comic with an incredible amount of insight into what graduate student life is like. It's written by a former graduate student at Stanford (former, meaning he graduated), and the comic, in my opinion, effectively captures the graduate student sub-culture. If you would like to laugh at the challenges we poor (literally, figuratively-- take your pick) graduate students face, you should check it out.

Back on the subject of motivation, here's today's comic:

Yes, the pressure is on!

Wonderful Brett

Today my legs were bothering me. They were driving me nuts, actually. It felt like the only thing that would make them feel better would be if I ran a marathon. When I told Brett about my legs, he suggested that I do the stairs a few times (we live on the third floor of an apartment building). So, I put my running shoes on and went to the basement. Then I sprinted up the stairs...and repeated three more times. I felt much better. As I caught my breath, I went in to tell Brett that it helped. When I told him that I had sprinted he was surprised and laughed and said that he hadn't intended that I do that. Then he got a concerned look on his face and said, "You probably won't be able to sprint for much longer." (He knows that when the belly gets bigger that I shouldn't be sprinting up stairs for various reasons.) I smiled and agreed. Then I said that I might go again and he said, "Some women have to go on bed rest at 16 weeks. I'm not saying that you shouldn't go, but just that you should be careful." I smiled and decided not to go. Some might think that Brett was intrusive, but I think he's wonderful. He's so involved in the pregnancy process that he knows the sorts of things coming up and the sorts of things I should be aware of. It takes a huge burden off of me because, since he knows so much and reads about pregnancy, I don't feel like I have to know all the risks or solutions to things, etc. He's been so great.

Another way to dote on Brett is to tell you about his attitude about his involvement in the pregnancy. I have been much more tired lately so I do not have the same window of opportunity to do all of my work during the day or night. Brett has responded by helping around the house so much. Brett has always shared the household tasks with me, but he has been doing so much more lately. I was feeling very guilty about this, especially when I was nauseous and couldn't go near the kitchen. Brett responded by saying that this was his way of participating in the pregnancy. I have to carry the child so he takes pleasure in making food, helping me figure out snacks, and doing other chores so that I can rest or get my homework done. He said that if I wouldn't allow him to do these things then he would feel like he wasn't able to participate in the pregnancy. So, yay for Brett, the best husband ever!

Snow day

Winters in Pittsburgh aren't really winters at all, much to my disappointment. However, it does increase my joy over a simple dusting of snow.

I took this picture today. The building pictured here is where my office is on the CMU campus. The taller building in the background is the Cathedral of Learning on the University of Pittsburgh campus.

The snow fall and the fact that we're pregnant got me thinking about what winter meant while I was growing up, and how winter might be different for someone growing up in Pittsburgh. When I was growing up, winter meant fun: there are a multitude of fun things that you could do in the winter and couldn't do any other time of the year. Of course, this is only true if 1) it's cold enough and 2) it actually snows. Winter without these necessary elements is just lame and annoying.

Will our children grow up thinking that winter is just lame and annoying? I hope not. I hope our children grow up with a sense of the beauty of winter, and an excitement about all the things there are to do when it gets cold out. Then, with any luck, when our children will be able to go to places like Pittsburgh they'll really confuse all the people they talk to this time of year, just like I do. Why? Because they'll actually look forward to snow and ice, and will be sad when they don't linger.

Back in the swing of things; The Belly, I

The week we've had in Pittsburgh since the holidays has been nice. Sarina has started class again at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and I've returned to work as well. Sarina is in the fourth week (of ten) of her winter term, and only has one more term to go before graduation! Since I've finished my coursework at Carnegie Mellon University I'll be spending my time doing research for my dissertation ... which should be done some time in the next couple of years (ugh!).

The baby won't arrive for a while, but until then there are other things we take can pictures of. Like Sarina's belly, for instance. Sarina is just now beginning to show, though it may not be obvious to anyone but us.



We plan on taking one picture a week to chart the change. We've been reading a pregnancy book that describes what's going on with our child day to day. Though we can't watch that development, it's very exciting to begin to see the changes we can observe.