20 min after we returned home from her delivery, we unexpectedly rushed Micah to the ER at Children's Hospital for severe croup with strider. He was admitted for three days. On the third day we were discharged and that afternoon went to a funeral home to make decisions about Rachel's remains. A couple of days later we left for Wisconsin to bury her. Rachel was buried on September 14th.
We are now back in Pittsburgh. However, we are scheduled to move to Charlottesville, VA on October 26th so that Brett can start a new job as a post-doc at the University of Virginia on Nov. 2nd.
Given all the trauma we have been through and the stress of moving very soon afterward we are doing OK. We take each day one at a time, sometimes moment to moment. The most amazing thing about this experience has been God's presence with us. Psalm 23:4 has been true for us, that even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death we should fear no evil for God is with us. It is amazing to feel God's love and care in the midst of a nightmare. It doesn't mean that we don't have questions for God or sometimes feel angry with God, but it does mean that we have a very strong sense that God did not abandon us even though we have suffered a terrible loss. And even though we wonder why God didn't save Rachel, we know that God was with Rachel as she died and that Rachel is with God now. That gives us great hope and is a great comfort. We are terribly sad not to be able to raise Rachel and to show her our love in this life, but we are so glad that one day we will see her again. Even though I want to live this life to the fullest and die old, I am looking forward to the day when I will see my daughter again, hear her voice for the first time, and have the opportunity to get to know her.
